Dharcy Exposed

We meet people every day. Some affect us more than others; some people we will even have forgotten before the day is over. Some of them leave marks on us; some even leave blisters and wounds. Some of them will keep us smiling at the memory for as long as we live; even though some of those memories won’t fall into grace until years and years later. Some memories have to be stained by tears; some of them have to be yelled at in anger, rage and disappointment before we learn to cherish them. (more…)

Why is she calling me? Weird girl must be having the time of her life right now. She calls me and I hang up; get the message already? I don’t want to hear your pity, I don’t want to hear your fake sorry. I don’t want to listen to you anymore at all. I don’t want to know things you both kept from me; no more lies. People talking behind my back about you two, I know they do. I remember their first reactions. What did I do? Seems I walked right in and snatched something you wanted, but was never yours to have. At least that’s what he said, but deep down I always knew who he’d run to first if he had to chose. But I tell you now; once he’s gone, prepare for hell. (more…)

No more Barbara Cartland atmosphere, no more pink shimmer. No more stolen kisses behind a store shelf, no more staying up late talking about feelings and future. No more of anything. Why am I always the stupid one, why do I never see things coming? Maybe not listening to people’s advice was dumb; maybe I just wanted to believe in what was given to me. Maybe I just wanted so much to be happy I just shut out the bad signs and went by the gut feeling. I couldn’t been more wrong. (more…)

Cold. Alone. My eyes hurt. My sight is blurry. Quiet. Shocked. But maybe not. Confused. Why does it hurt? Pain. Dazed. I can’t breathe. I don’t understand. Why? (more…)

Happiness. How does it taste? How does it feel? Most important; how to achieve and to keep it? The answer is that I don’t know. I’ve got no clue at all, because everytime I think I ceased it; I realise I lost it before I tasted it, I lose it before I felt the sweet caress of pure, thick, precious happiness. You know the kind that swallows you whole and you’re not sure if you’re really alive since it made you breathless. Since it felt like a dream and dreams are gone once you wake up. Maybe I’m waking up now, or maybe I just fooled myself once and again. Maybe I never even had it in my grasp. (more…)

The flu is boring me. Too tired to do things, too ill to get my arse to uni without arriving in a puddle of sweat if I take my bike and ride it for those 40 minutes it would probably take me in this state. I’d probably be able to manage that, but well, it would probably mean I’d postpone getting well a few more days. Not worth it – I hate being ill and alone at home, it’s like prison. I realised I had to eat this evening at least, so I made myself go to the mall which is only 5 minutes away. Falafel and shopping for new underwear made me an almost new person. If it wasn’t for the darned fever. (more…)

It has its advantages being ill with the flu after all. After lecturing me by txt about the fact I need to eat even though I hardly can swallow, he showed up with take away and a lot of hugs and kisses at my door. After watching a new TV show (best one in quite a while to be honest – Boston Tea Party for the win!) we ended up in the bath tub with a lot of foam and bubbles and chilled white wine. Two more weeks of this. Then I might as well crawl into bed, hide under blankets and sheets til he comes back home again because there won’t be much going on out there for me anyways. (more…)

and I’m not sure I can do this anymore. Always last on the to-do-list, always in the shadow of everyone else. Unless he’s here; then I’m on top of his world. It’s not enough. What about all the things I have to do then? That I keep putting aside, to make time for us to meet etc. All the hours I really should been studying, not clinging on to something so fucking doomed it’s hilarious. (more…)

Rain, rain, rain. How the hell can it be raining this much without 90% of Earth turning into desert area? It’s like it’ll never end. And it’s just perfect for this fricking stupid week I’ve been having. I’m already bored with uni to be honest, or I don’t know I just haven’t gotten into rhythm with it all yet I guess, so I call my boss every now and then asking could I just work instead (which is rather stupid since I got a ton of homework to do) and of course I can. This Wednesday though I just shouldn’t have. I spend 3 hours at work and someone manages to steal my stupid bike. You know, why even bother, it was one of those really old and shabby ones; rusty and just a mess in general. And best of all; it was even locked. Get a life someone? (more…)

The weekend is ended and we survived, believe it or not! Me and R left for my hometown friday afternoon to meet with my families (parents divorced = two cool families instead of one for the win) and it was the beginning of a really nice and fun weekend. I have to admit I was a bit worried about meeting with my dad and his spouse since they had decided there would be some (which always means a lot in that household) drinking in the evening. We started off with beer as soon as we arrived and my dad started pouring R whiskey before dinner. My dad’s idea about how much whiskey you pour in a glass is about the same as how much tequila you get poured in one glass in Cuba; meaning the size of a normal glass from Ikea. The night had just begun. (more…)