Dharcy Exposed

With the evening sun on his back and the ocean calm and silent behind him, he’s rising tall and secure in front of me. I take in everything I see; his silhouette, his hair, his sun tanned skin and the crooked smile on his face. It’s all I really see, the back light is stealing away most of his facial features and I can’t see his eyes. But he’s there and I know who he is, I’ve always known and the image has been following me since I was a little girl. The one; I caught a glimpse once and years and years later I’m able to recall that long lost memory I haven’t thought about for ages. Suddenly everything fell into place; and so I tricked myself into believing we shared something special and that I could finally rest myself in the safe arms of destiny. (more…)

I’m surprisingly calm at the moment. I know I shouldn’t be, I should be shredding curtains, smashing porcelain against walls and yelling my lungs out, but I’m not. Maybe it is because deep down I knew it, I don’t know. The thought of it before used to put me in a state of complete apathy and numbness but I’ve swallowed that this time. It must be because you told me straight and not to other people for me to hear from them. Another year. These 7 months went by quickly, even though everything I said and did was tinted by your smile and my longing. (more…)

Upside down. It’s the only way I can describe it. I’m in Spain and I think most things I’ve been sure of have brutally been turned around or turned into nothing. I’m not sure of anything anymore; not other people, not myself. I feel two-faced, and I’m fooling myself over and over; I thought I could go down here with class and just keep up every little wall around me I’ve got that I treasure so much, but I can’t. My face, my mask, fell flat to the ground and I’m avoiding everyone, and I even think everyone is avoiding me. Them, him, Spain, the world. Cliffs aren’t high enough, buildings aren’t high enough. My flat is never high enough to be sure falling would be a certain death. I’m trapped. In Spain, in my head. (more…)