Here I’ll be gathering the funny (and sometimes weird) dialogues and qoutes that are said at and off work. Enjoy!
Slutty Boss: So you’ll be moving from one ghetto to another, eh?
Dharcy: Yeah, but I’ll have HG at a crawl distance at least.
SB: Who’s that?
D: My new boyfriend.
SB: I hope he’s elder than the other guys you’ve been seeing.
D: Hans-Göran.
SB: With that name he’s probably older than my father.
D: Doh. HG is the student pub.
SB: *silence*
Section: SB gets owned. Again.
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JF: I need sex.
D: Me too. I’d like to have sex with myself. You know, me cloned into two. That’d be so awesome.
JF: Nah, I wouldn’t want that. I’m too good.
Section: Sex: good, me: better, masturbating: awesome.
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SB: Hey there my sweet honey pie!
D: Hello you, my little playboy bunny!
Section: Don’t you just dig the lovable atmosphere at my place of work?
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JF: Heard anything from your gay boyfriend yet?
D: Yes. And he’s obviously not gay.
JF: Is he good in bed?
D: Yes.
JF: Is he, like, caring in bed?
D: Yes.
JF: He’s so gay.
Section: JF probably wants R to be gay so he can do him himself.
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C: Morning sex?
D: No, don’t be silly.
C: Please?
D: No, you know it ain’t gonna happen.
C: You suck so hard!
D: Yes, but not you.
C: Bitch.
Section: Some people just don’t give up.
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D: Men are all fucked up. Or maybe I’m just unlucky?
N: Yeah.. you’re just unlucky. There are good ones, but they’re in a place where rivers are made of wine and you don’t have to work.
D: But how the hell do we get there?
N: We get high and fly there.
Section: Who needs men when there is pot?
——————–
SB: If it wasn’t for R I’d be hitting on you to be honest.
D: What do you know, he may not even come back.
SB: You’re right… I will definately start hitting on you. Soon.
Section: No thanks!
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El: …and I dunno how you gain trust.
El: (walmart?)
D: Nah, checked walmart. Out of stock for the rest of the season.
El: Really? Increased consumption this year?
D: Christmas gift of the year I heard.
Section: Important stuff on backorder sucks.
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D: Seriously, you should do something about your indescribably huge ego.
V: No, you find it charming.
D: No, it’s repulsing.
V: A little, but you still want me.
Section: Some people just don’t… get it.
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JF: So what are you saying? Are we gonna sleep together or not?
D: Are you kidding me?
JF: Not the slightest bit.
D: You’d sleep with anything, so it’s not really a compliment, you know.
JF: True that. But not quite anything, only almost.
D: Besides, I’ve had my share of sleeping with people from work already.
JF: No problem, I’ll quit.
Section: Is he desperate or am I just goddamn hot?
——————–
D: C’mon, let’s do it one more time.
R: No, let’s take a walk and talk for a bit instead.
D: Please?
R: Seriously [Dharcy], am I the woman in this relationship?
D, sighing: Looks like it.
Section: Switched roles are for the lose.
——————–
R: Our kids will be lucky to have parents like us. Beautiful kids.
D: We’ll let them play with both boy and girl toys! They’ll be raised in a gender neutral way, since I’m a hippie teacher.
R: Jesus, all our kids will be gay.
D: Runs in the family then?
R: Fuck you.
Section: Right back at you.
——————–
SB: Hey [Dharcy], admit that now that you’re finally getting sober from last night you feel a bit horny?
D: Umm… no?
SB: T said that he was afraid of being around you cos you were rubbing against him and stuff.
D: Stop placing blames [SB], you know and I know that the only one around here being horny is you.
SB: Crap, you’re right.
Section: Attack is the best defense.
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D: Fucking men.
E: No, stupid motherfucking men.
Section: Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with them?
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D: Storleken har betydelse. Det ska ju inte vara som att hoppa i en hiss.
CS: Eller som en skogaholmslimpa på Ullevi.
Section: De som säger annat har en liten jaevel.
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D: I’ve been thinking about travelling for a bit in August.
R: Oh nice, where are you going?
D: I was thinking I’d head down to Perth, actually.
R: Really? What are you gonna do in Perth then?
D: Nothing I think, been planning to head straight up to Darwin from there.
R: Darwin? What are you gonna do there? You gonna travel around or..?
D: Seriously, what do you think?
R: *silence* IS IT REALLY TRUE?!
D: /facepalm
Section: Too many days and nights spent out in the outbacks of Oz ftl?
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D: I wonder if I’ll get stuck at the airport if I bring my handcuffs to Oz.
R: Haha, just stick them in the bag you check in and no one will notice.
D: Yeah, true that. I’ll just ask E so she doesn’t need them when I’m away.
R: *silence* Are you saying you have a pair? I mean like for real?
D: Yes, why not?
R: Jesus, who are you again?
Section: And you said you weren’t prudish?
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